2 Different Zones

“Comfortzone / Friendzone”

Friendzone? or Comfort zone?

Have you ever been a comfort zone? I’ve been a couple times. Different persons, situations, and I admit that a couple of times, I witnessed how it can rain inside a bakery or even under the shade in one sunny afternoon.

Comforting someone requires no talent. The prerequisites are that you know how to sit back and listen. Spit out the “you’ve got a friend” lines, and maybe you should also know how to make someone calm from all the inevitable crying and sobbing. All the Girl needs is you, someone she can tell her problems. Burst her tears with, a shoulder to lean and cry on.

“I’m not the go-to-guy for these stuffs but for some Girls... I just often times happen to be on the scene and somehow I am ever passable to the task or something like that.”

Here I’ve listed the things that I heard from the Girls I served as a comfort zone. I know some of you might have heard some of these before…

·   Boyfriend Problem

·   Family Problems

·   Girlfriend/BFF dramas

·   Financial Problems

·   Pregnancy

I’ll make the “Boyfriend” stuff number one. Since there are a lot of ****-headed guys out there, okay for decency; let’s censor stuffs and reiterate what I just said. Some are JUST certified professional lady killers. But some are just plain idiots.

“From two-timers, to cannot-commit kinda guys, to can’t-decide kinda guys and the has-no-final-word-on-it kinda guys. Yeap, Girls have their own rough paths to finding Mr. Right. But usually Mr. Right is just right under their noses or two steps behind them.”

I have this kind of philosophy. I don’t know where I got it but I have stick on it ever since...

“Never pick a beautiful flower, if you’re just going to play with it.”

I envy guys who apparently have the good looks, the 5’9” stand, the ability to really speak up their mind and the luck to ever come across with such Girls. I’m not here to discuss what I lack, or what. I’m just a less fortunate dude in some aspects. Let’s not jump to that, alright.

There are Guys that are incidentally gifted. Inarguably these Guys often put it into abuse of these gifts. And mostly, their victims are innocent Girls that are just so easy to ‘talk’ and ‘walk’ with.

"I ain’t here to discuss about those playboys and idiots. Girls should be aware of these guys, since they lurk around the corners."

When the both of you are in friendzone mode.

“Make your intentions clear. If you just want the girl to be your friend. Limit yourself or else you might give her motives to yearn for more. And you don’t want that to happen. Most Girls are still sensitive these days, no matter how advanced our society has become. You can’t just categorize Girls into one flock... You don’t want that girl to wait around for you, when they should be waiting for someone else.”

Problems like 2-4 are always there. It’s pretty much given in our daily life and can be overcome by an instant solution sometimes.

About preggy. God, I don’t want to recall how I manage that stunt. But when I was in that situation way back in 2007… I was like:

“OMG. Why are you telling me this first? I know we’re close and all. But I’m not your best friend. We’re only seatmates in two subjects. I know we all joke around and stuff. But you should go tell your guy first and not me…”

I know I sounded harsh there but what else can I say? I was astounded that moment. But I kept it cool since the girl was starting to drop big tears and man; I tell you I didn’t know what else I going to say. But I kept her from crying, of course. I’ve only read books on how to pick things up after a catastrophic event, such as acts of god like earthquakes, flash floods and human-acts; internet-based attacks in a company, espionage and more… but unexpected-pregnancy from an 18 year old? You’ve gotta be kidding me, because I am no parent or whatsoever.

Back at that moment, I assisted the girl on whatever her plans are. Listened to it and tried to keep myself on a minor role. I recall it was 10 p.m., Saturday. And we were in a bakery. The first thing I suggested [while eating a piece of chocolate cake and drinking a hot coffee] is for her to tell everything to the guy and to her best friend. They’re the only ones who can really help her, not me. Because I know since it would be unwise to bring it up to her parents since they’re a thousand miles away. You don’t want to bring that up in a phone conversation, right?

After that, I never heard from the girl [for almost about a year and not even in friendster, she was like a ghost recon asset]. We bumped into each other in a fast food restaurant with her baby and Aunt; I was surprised to know that they managed to keep it from her parents for as long as 5 months, and that it never really was hard for her parents to accept what happened. The guy’s parents were ever supportive too and accepted things, impromptu.

That girl was my seatmate, a friend, and one of my crushes in college. It was a shock. Felt like a bum at first. But there’s nothing that I can do to undo things for her. When she was still hanging out with that guy, I wasn’t feeling anything biggie at all. I never thought that something will happen to them later on. We were definitely close but I never gave out any motives for her to feel uncomfortable around me.

Funny things is, the girl knew of my feelings. Definitely, this girl was as sharp as a dagger. But she acted like she didn’t know. I’ve been had. So maybe that time when she had nowhere to go, I was an immediate option. I’m an accidental comfort zone, I guess. Most undeniably, friend zoned unlimited.

“If you’re not sure of your feelings for the girl, don’t befriend her. Don’t give her the motives. You might just confuse your friendship with her and you’ll just end up hurting her. And also, don’t befriend the girl you love. Because someone else might take her away and you’ll miss the opportunity.”